i just can't quit you

Hello, my fellow bibliophiles! So, March has reached its end and spring is upon us (well, at least technically - I'm still living in a snow globe). I'm flabbergasted (*insert Miranda saying "good word, isn't it?" here*) that there was such a wonderful reception to the first #BiblioPhotoADay, and over the last few days people have asked if I'd be doing another round. I sat down and managed to come up with 30 more prompts, so we're going to do this one more time! I can't quit you, and I hope that the feeling is mutual and you'll join in the book-inspired fun once more.

Subjecting you to my artistic skillZ once again!

If you haven't heard about PhotoADay before, I'm linking to my last post HERE where you can find a more general breakdown. Here I'm just going to jump into April's prompts since I'm down to the wire as it is.

Same as before, feel free to share photos through Instagram or straight on Twitter. To be a part of our book-loving group and to track this photo challenge, simply tag them with:

#BiblioPhotoADay

1: favourite time to read --> Do you fit reading in during work breaks or is it part of your nighttime ritual? Or does your reading time fall on the weekends?

2: where your books live --> Whether it's on shelves or in your phone, share where you keep your prized reading materials.

3: summary --> This is what [should be the thing that] pulls us into a story. Has there been one that captivated you enough to push you to purchase? Or maybe it was so awful it turned you off of a story completely.

4: high school reading list --> What's the one book that you "had" to read once-upon-a-time, but it turned out to be a favourite? Alternatively, which book would you want to add to the must-read list?

5: lyrics --> They could make you think of a story you love, or inspire desire for a book based off of them - share lyrics that hold some kind of literary connection for you. 

6: freebie five --> Which literary boys or girls would you put on your list of people you could be with if the opportunity arose, no questions asked? Damn, I miss FRIENDS. 

7: silver screen --> Last month we covered an adaptation that was already made, but this time let's talk about which book SHOULD be a movie.

8: fahrenheit 451 --> Have you read a previously censored book? Or maybe there's one you could see being banned and you're so thankful that it's not? Click HERE for some ideas of past books that were banned.

9: out of your comfort zone --> Some people like to read all over the map, whereas others have certain niches. Which book took you away from what you'd normally read with surprisingly pleasant results? 

10: non-fiction --> Usually I get lost in fictional words, but I've read some wonderful non-fiction books as well. From travel stories to autobiographies to reference books, which is your pick?

11: TARDIS --> Time and Relative Dimension in Space: which book has taken you to a different time or world?

12: darkest hour --> Which is the heaviest book you've read? I find this is a question I get a lot, and I have a certain go-to list, but am always looking for other ones that will exercise my brain.

13: acknowledgements --> Similar to last month's "dedication" prompt, but this time from the end of a book. Which acknowledgement has put a smile on your face or a question in your mind?

14: UNF --> Literary porn is a wonderful thing - what's one of the hottest scenes/books you've had the pleasure of reading?

15: old soul --> Which classic character do you relate to and/or love the most? They might not be part of our world, but if you were in theirs, they'd be your best friend.

16: dream cast --> Maybe it's from a movie that's already been cast, or it's one that you wish would be/had been chosen: who embodies your favourite character(s)?

17: star system --> We all have different ways of classifying what we read. Goodreads uses stars, I use book formats - what about you?

18: message in a bottle --> Part of what I love about getting second-hand books is that people have left their mark on them, and it's exciting to see the messages they've left. Which one has been your favourite, or what mark would you leave in a book to pass along?

19: location, location, location --> Where do you like to read: in a comfy chair at home, at a café, or somewhere else entirely?

20: limited edition --> Lots of books have various editions out, so whether limited or not, which is most precious to you?

21: put it in the freezer --> Remember when Joey had to put Little Women in the freezer because it was too much to handle? Share which book you've had to put in the freezer because it's so powerful that it's overwhelmed you. 

22: bookshop --> I chat with my friends about opening a bookstore constantly; I mean, owning a space that's also my sanctuary? Heaven.  Online or in store, who's the dealer of your literary fix? 

23: magazine stand --> Which glossy pages hold your reading fix when you're in the mood for something quick to pick up? 

24: beauty is in the eye of the beholder --> Beauty means different things to different people. Sometimes it's physical, others it's intellectual - the list goes on. Which character is most beautiful to you?

25: blog roll --> Not all of the reading we do is of novels; which online forums do your eyes take in on a regular basis?

26: busting up -->Which story had you laughing so hard you could barely breathe? I find comedy a harder element to find in stories, so share which books make you smile so big your face hurts.

27: DIAF --> Share a book that you've read that nobody else should. Save us from the awful writing, horrendous storyline, ridiculous characters, etc. 

28: shakespeare -->Even if he's not your go-to guy these days, chances are you've had a taste of the Bard at some point during your life/education. Share which play is your favourite - whether you read, watched, or acted it!

29: WHO NEEDS SLEEP -->Sometimes you have to stay up until 4 AM finishing a book because IT'S JUST SO ENGROSSING AND YOU CAN'T PUT IT DOWN.

30: you give good quote --> My books are filled with stickies and stars and underlined passages; some books just seem to keep them coming one after the other. In your opinion, which one gives the best quotes? 

~ #BiblioPhotoADay ~ 

This is very last minute, but there they all are! I can't wait to see what you bring to April's sharing of words and books and related things that make life good. <3

A/N: FLOOZ, Lena and Lindsey all asked about this month, so thanks to them for making me sit down and come up with another list! FLOOZ, Shine and Bacon also helped with a few prompts *showers them with love*. So much appreciation for you fellow book-lovers - we share the best obsession.

a shared addiction

Best addiction to have.

YOU. GUYS. I am so overwhelmed with the #BiblioPhotoADay response that I can't even put things into proper sentences! Seriously, everybody has been beyond nice and you've embraced it and all I can do is spew things like this:

"FEELS. kjahsdkjhfajkhsdjkfhark. CRYING I DON'T HAVE WORDS."

My eloquence obviously knows no bounds.

In all honesty, I can't express how much it means to me that so many people are participating. This wouldn't be a thing without all you bibliophiles and your perfect book love. Thank you so much for joining me in this month-long adventure!

When I wrote my explanation POST about #BiblioPhotoADay, I said that I would summarise what people shared weekly. Looking at the numbers now, after four days, I'm seeing that that won't be as feasible as I originally thought it would be (which is WONDERFUL, because it means there is a plethora of perfect photos being shared):

THIS IS B A N A N A S.

That being said, I would still really love to share people's creativity and literary treasures with everybody here. So, what I've decided to do is choose a selection of around 15 photos from each day and compile them into some sort of collage (this is a work in progress) and then post each Friday for the rest of the month to highlight our book love.

Once I decided to go forward this way, I realised that it would be best if I checked before I included your stuff; credit needs to be given where it's due! I chatted with Jenn (who by some miracle hasn't disowned me yet), and she helped me hammer out the best way to go about this. Since some people are posting via Twitter, others Instagram, and many both, I need a way to keep track of whose photos I can potentially use each week. 

I don't want to have to keep hassling you guys each time I love a pic, so I'm putting it out to you now - if you're okay with me sharing your #BiblioPhotoADay posts, please either Tweet @imlostinabook, Email me or comment on this post to let me know that I can. 

Just leave me the following, depending on what social media you're using:

- your Twitter handle

- your Instagram name

- or both!

That way I'll know who I have the green light to include in the weekly summaries, and you only have to let me know once. :)

I also just wanted to let you know that I'm contributing to www.whatchyareading.net now! They have tons of YA book reviews spanning many genres, so pop over there if you feel so inclined. My first review went up a couple of weeks ago - it was on There You'll Find Me by Jenny Jones. Just click that link if you'd like to read it. I'll be sharing another one over there next week.

I think that's about it for now! Keep posting your amazing book pics and I'll see you again here on Friday to share some of this past week's goodies.

A/N: L linked me the "Drugs" photo, so thank you to her! She and B always share the best book-related things with me. Everything has kind of been photo-a-day these past few days, but I just got my hands on a hardback copy of Code Name Verity, so we'll be discussing that SOON. I read it with my Book Club girls last month and we were all enthralled. Angie and I also have an exciting post in the works, so keep an eye out for that. Happy reading! <3

a picture is worth a thousand words

Around here, words are our focus. I'm pretty sure that if you're stopping by, you have a deep and vested interest in them and could read/write/discuss them for days. But sometimes, it's nice to visualise things in a slightly different way than just typing it out. A couple of my friends and I were chatting about how the normal Photo-a-Day lists were getting a little repetitive, and they said that if I outlined a book-themed month of prompts, they'd try it out! So, here is the inaugural Lost in a Book Somewhere Photo-a-Day list:

Can you tell I made it myself, or...
Why does March have to have an odd number of days?!

If you're not familiar with the Photo-a-Day concept, it's basically exactly what it sounds like: you have words/phrases/prompts that you then interpret and capture in a photo. The beauty of this activity is that it can go a million different directions; it's entirely up to you and your imagination! I've broken down the above list below and expanded a little on what I mean by each prompt. Each day I'll give a reminder tweet about what the prompt is, and of course post my own photo.

You guys will determine where I go from here. Feel free to pick and choose days - if some prompts don't speak to you at all, don't feel pressured to do them. Of course it would be wonderful if you feel so inclined to do the whole month, because I would be over the moon with book love! Depending on the number of people who end up participating, I'll share as many pics as I can on the blog. Right now I'm thinking I'll do a sort of weekly summary so that you're not inundated with posts every single day.

You can share photos through Instagram or just straight on Twitter if you don't have an Insta account (if you use IG and want your photos shared, make sure you send the pics to Twitter so I can see them all). To be able to track what you share (AHHH, I'M ALREADY SO EXCITED), please use this hash tag with your posts so I can search for them (or @ them to me at @imlostinabook):

#BiblioPhotoADay

1: page --> Starting it off easy: this can be any page you want! A loose one, a bound one, a web one or anything along those lines.

2: word nerd --> Back in high school English, we had these vocab books from which we had to learn like five new words each week. To some it might sound tedious, but for a word nerd like me, it was heaven. I still get a rush when I find a word I don't yet know in my reading travels. So, what's a word that you were introduced to thanks to your literary adventures?

3: wanderlust --> Books transport us to different worlds; which one would you like to visit most? Whether to real or imagined places, let's take a trip around the world.

4: spine --> It's no secret that I have a problem and cannot control myself when it comes to buying books I'm a fan of physical tomes, so this is for all my fellow paper lovers.

5: poetry --> Only recently have I started to appreciate poetry; it's definitely not my forte. But if you have a favourite poem, share it here. Or maybe you've found poetic words in other mediums that have stayed with you - that works, too!

6: challenge --> I know a lot of people use Goodreads, so maybe you set a 2013 challenge for yourself. Or maybe not so officially, you want to make it to a certain chapter by the end of the week. On a different note, is there a story you're struggling to get through, or a book that exercises your brain more than others? However you interpret it, what's a literary challenge you're tackling right now?

7: waiting game --> Which book are you most excited for you right now? Is it the conclusion to a series, or a stand alone by one of your favourite authors? Maybe something completely new?

8: bookmark --> How do you mark your place during those unfortunate times when you have to set your reading material down? A receipt slipped between pages, one of the bookmarks from the racks at the front of the bookstore or something else?

9: literary boyfriend/girlfriend --> Oh, _____? That's just my literary significant other. All the cool kids have one. Share which character has stolen your heart!

10: I hope you step on a lego. --> One of the most torturous things is stepping on a lego - who or what would you want to inflict this pain on? Is there a character or story line that gets under your skin and riles you up? Maybe an entire book pisses you off? Vent away!

11: sharing is caring --> "Sometimes, you read a book and it fills you with this weird evangelical zeal, and you become convinced that the shattered world will never be put back together unless and until all living humans read the book." Share a book that EVERYBODY NEEDS TO READ. 

12: dedication --> As my friend Gangsta J knows, sometimes I love the dedication an author makes as much or more than the story they tell. I think having a book dedicated to you would literally be the most meaningful gift on the planet, and I like imagining the stories behind them. Share one of your favourite acknowledgements.

13: what happens in BC, stays in BC --> Anything book club related. If you're part of one, in person or online, it could be capturing a meeting/discussion you had. Or if you're not, what would your ideal book club include? Or what would you want to read with a group?

14: childhood throwback --> What was your favourite book when you were younger? With pictures or without, what childhood treasure do you still cherish?

15: hero --> Who do you look up to, literary or 3D?  Whether a fictional or biographical story, whether the heroism quietly affects you or sweeps you off the page, who inspires you?

16: notebook --> We're always talking about others' words, but where do you record yours? Laptop or lined paper, what's your space like.

17: light it with words --> What's your favourite word? Is it one that you find comforting, or does it send shivers down your spine? Define it, too, if you'd like!
 
18: chapter __ --> Maybe you love a book that includes some artwork at the beginning of the chapters. Or it's the font that makes it aesthetically pleasing.  Then again, some books have chapter titles for each new section. Show the heading of one of your favourites.

19: cover --> I know they say "don't judge a book by its cover," but sometimes you can't help it!

20: "it's a metaphor, see..." --> What's the best metaphor you've come across? Or the worst? It can be a vague metaphoric action or a more laid out comparison, as long as it's a metaphor (make Augustus proud).

21: favourite series --> YA, adult, whatever you please - which series has stolen your heart?

22: adaptation --> Normally the motto is "don't judge a book by its movie," but sometimes we're pleasantly surprised - which book-to-movie conversion was one that you liked?

23: lost in austen (a classic) --> For me, Austen's novels are forever books. Which classic do you love, written by Austen or otherwise?

24: waterfall on your face --> A book, character, moment, quote that brings tears to your eyes. Share it with us, because misery loves company.

25: electronic --> Do you ebook it up on a Kindle or Nook? Read fic on your phone? How you get your reading fix when paper volumes aren't involved.
 
26: one true pairing --> boy meets girl/boy meets boy/girl meets girl...share a moment that your favourite literary couple had.

27: genius --> Which author do you love more than words can say? Whose words you covet like no other - in fact, you'd go so far as to say that they're a genius.

28: pen name --> A lot of authors choose pen names in place of their actual ones. Do you have a favourite? Or if YOU were going to publish your words, what's a possible pen name you'd want to use? 

29: literary best friend --> If you could choose any character for a bestie, who would it be? Feel free to expand on why - share a relevant quote, list attributes, whatever floats your boat. Or just give a name, it's entirely up to you!

30: greedy --> Sometimes when you reach the end of a story, you just have to shout NOOOOOOOOO, because you're not ready for your time there to be over. Which character/story/setting can you never seem to get enough of?

31: a book that changed your [reading] life --> This is perhaps the hardest prompt, in my mind. For some the answer will leap out, but for others you'll have to dig deep. Maybe it didn't alter the course of your life overall, but influenced your favourites or how you read following it. Let's end March on a high note.

~ #BiblioPhotoADay ~

I know some of those might seem a little overwhelming after a first read-through, but remember how you interpret them is ultimately your call. Work off of what I suggested or completely ignore it. You can take pics of quotes or books, write or draw, find something in the non-literary, 3D world that fits the bill...go wild! I can't wait to see what you come up with. Thanks for joining me in this new endeavour! 

I love you all more than I love rambling about books (so obvs a lot, as this post proves). <3

IS THIS CREEPY OR NICE IDK IDK.
But the sentiment is hopefully there!

A/N: Vanessa and Bacon were the two who suggested I do this in the first place, so without them, it wouldn't have happened. Angie came up with that BRILLIANT hashtag (her brain is like *____*) and she and Jenn read things over for me and gave me the feedback I needed. I have the best friends in the world and they make this blog so much better! Love you girls more than you know.

unravel me

UNRAVEL ME by TAHEREH MAFI

"I don't have a closet filled with umms and ellipses ready to insert at the beginnings and ends of sentences. I don't know how to be a verb, an adverb, any kind of modifier. I'm a noun through and through."

Hi again, bibliophiles! Sorry this post was delayed a couple of times; Sunday meant Oscars and more wine than I'd planned for, so I didn't have a chance to finish this up.  Speaking of the Academy Awards, LIFE OF PIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!! That is perhaps my favourite book ever (aside from Divergent, of course), and I loved the adaptation, which is a rare and wonderful thing. We'll have to talk about it someday soon. I've read it over and over again, and each time I take something new from it; everyone should read it at some point in their life.

But, for today, Unravel Me - there are some spoilers in this post, and it's heavy on the quotes, so proceed with caution if you haven't read the sequel yet!

 THERE ARE JUST A LOT OF FEELINGS.

To be honest, I don't know if there are more of the positive or negative variety. I've had a couple of weeks separating reading and writing this, and I've gone back over the story a few times. I've also chatted with people who have read it in the meantime, and I feel like my opinion has finally settled. I first had a read-along with Angie (aka my biggest cheerleader), and I surprised myself by being so caught up in it! I raced through it in one evening, and my brain was spinning by the end. As I've had some time to process, frustration has settled in, but not because of what seems to be the biggest point of contention for others - aka Warner.

"And I don't know much about anything in this world but I do know how to read the book written in his eyes."

Unravel Me brings us deeper into Omega Point and the resistance that has been building there. As they prepare below, threats from above close in until worlds finally collide. As the already decimated world crumbles further, Juliette herself is unravelling, and must make difficult decisions, including whose love fulfills her wants and needs.

"His left hand is cupping the back of my head, his right tightening around my waist, pressing me hard against him and destroying every rational thought I've ever had. It's deep. So strong. It's an introduction to a side of him I've never known before and I'm gasping gasping gasping for air. It's hot rain and humid days and broken thermostats. It's screaming teakettles and raging steam engines and wanting to take your clothes off just to feel a breeze. It's the kind of kiss that makes you realize oxygen is overrated."

Just as Juliette's usually lethal touch becomes better understood in this novel, so are the other powers possessed by those gifted Omega Point inhabitants. As is expected, Adam's ability to experience Juliette's touch is actually linked to his power; he endures it, but not without a cost to himself.  His body goes into overdrive protecting itself from other powers that affect or attack him. I love the above quote: not only is it an example of Mafi's writing that I find effective, but it displays the duality of heat in Adam and Juliette's relationship. There's the figurative, all-consuming, UNF-y aspect, but running under that is the dangerous literal and physical element.

 The love that she thought was safe - and that in many ways saved her - is almost or equally as perilous as the other physical connections she's had. Of course physicality does not define an entire relationship, but especially in Juliette's case, it's linked tightly with her emotional stability.

"I want to feel the beauty of this love with the tips of my fingers and the palms of my hands and every fiber and bone in my being. I want all of it."

Her want extends beyond the reach of her conscious control; her power is still outside of herself sometimes. Even when she comes to capricious agreements with herself, and Adam, about how to make their relationship work despite the seemingly insurmountable challenge of the combination of their powers, their bodies' desires do not cooperate. It's tearing them apart while they desperately try to hold themselves together.

"'Please,' he whispers, tormented. 'Don't walk away from this.' 'I-I wish,' I tell him, shaking violently now, 'I wish I d-didn't have to. I wish I could love you less.'."

"So I have to keep remembering that Warner and I are 2 different words. We are synonyms but not the same. Synonyms know each other like old colleagues, like a set of friends who've seen the world together. They swap stories, reminisce about their origins and forget that though they are similar, they are entirely different, and though they share a certain set of attributes, one can never be the other. Because a quiet night is not the same as a silent one, a firm man is not the same as a steady one, and a bright light is not the same as a brilliant one because the way they wedge themselves into a sentence changes everything. They are not the same."

Throughout Unravel Me, Juliette touches on these two creatures: Warner who is human versus one who is a monster. Whereas before it seemed that he fell staunchly on one side of the line, his evil heart bringing about destruction everywhere his power was felt, now this distinction is blurred. Who he truly is becomes increasingly confusing as Juliette spends time with him over the course of the story. I experienced something similar as I read, feeling sympathy for Warner while simultaneously wanting to lock him in an escape-proof box to keep him from wrecking my OTP (Adam's tortured existence in this book slays me ;__;).

His father coming to link his and Juliette's (and Adam's, ohhhhhhh shit! I honestly didn't see that twist coming.) stories together was another development that captured and held my attention. Such a sadistic character brings others' shortcomings into a different perspective; if anyone truly has evil in his heart, it is Anderson (speaking of names, I can't take Warner's first one seriously - am I the only one?!).

My mind keeps going in a million different directions when I think of not only how his relationship with Juliette will progress, but how he and Adam will throw down interact as the series reaches its conclusion.

"Because some people are so stupid that they actually think there are thick neon lines separating good and evil."

Like I touched on in my Destroy Me post, this added complexity of Warner's character made me like his story and the way it fits into the greater plot much more. He's interesting in new and intriguing ways, and the lack of surety surrounding his morality brings an element of reality into this dystopian world. The above quote is my favourite (non-sexytime) quote of the book; it is something that every human being can relate to, and was a thought that I found particularly accessible as a reader.

"'...I'd really appreciate it if you'd grow the hell up and stop walking around like the world crapped on your only roll of toilet paper. Because it's stupid,' he says, barely reining in his temper. 'It's stupid, and it's ungrateful. You don't have a clue what everyone else in the world is going through right now. You don't have a clue Juliette. And you don't seem to give a damn, either.'"

While I was wrapped up in the relationships morphing throughout the story, eventually Juliette as an individual started to piss me off a bit. While it is her story and we're viewing the world through her lens, there's only so much angst I can take that revolves around self-chastisement and internal wavering. She is no longer the lost and lonely girl who we met in the first novel; she is part of a society with others she can identify with and who support her in a multitude of ways.

Kenji might be my favourite character. He definitely is in the moment quoted above. I think I literally cheered out loud when he laid it out for Juliette like that. Of course her life isn't suddenly a cakewalk, but there are bigger things going on; she's getting lost in the minutiae of the negatives she's personally experiencing and forgetting that there's still a big, bad world out there that's falling apart. I think I'd be more forgiving if this characterisation were happening in a contemporary tale, but as it's in a dystopian world it elicited a harsher reaction from me.

I know people had a similar problem with Tris in Insurgent. When I talked about that book, I noted that I also found her character frustrating at times, but it was in a way that I actually loved. I don't want to compare everything about these two trilogies (especially since I'm biased with Divergent as my favourite), but I feel it's pertinent to note that what made Tris' shortcomings more bearable than Juliette's, for me, was the balance they had with what was happening in the overarching plot line. In fact her feelings were sometimes mirrored in the societal developments. In the Shatter Me series, I feel that the plot is not strong enough to buoy this lead character's downfalls.

Tyler Knott Gregson writes ALL THE PRETTY WORDS.

"Hope. It's like a drop of honey, a field of tulips blooming in the springtime. It's fresh rain, a whispered promise, a cloudless sky, the perfect punctuation mark at the end of a sentence. And it's the only thing keeping me afloat."

While a lot of her behaviour started to get on my nerves, I do think we start to see Juliette grow as a character. Learning to survive without Adam and how to reach inside herself to find what she needs, as well as allowing peers who aren't her whole world to support her, were developments we hadn't really witnessed previously.  She finds pride in working for Castle, in finally being productive and accomplishing something that doesn't involve hurting people.

"'Books,' he's saying, pulling his boxer-briefs up and rezipping his pants, 'are easily destroyed. But words will live as long as people can remember them...I think there's something about the impermanence of life these days that makes it necessary to etch ink into our skin,' he says. 'It reminds us that we've been marked by the world, that we're still alive. That we'll never forget.' 'Who are you?'"

Warner is starting to share pieces of himself that are hidden from the rest of the world. It's assisting in balancing the scales from when he read her journal and became privy to her innermost thoughts. A give-and-take equilibrium is trying to be established, but he's always half in the shadows no matter how hard Juliette tries to draw him out. Reiterating some of what I said in my last post, I may not see a long-term future for him and Juliette, but he captivates me as a character, and I can't seem to get enough (just like Juliette in this book o).

"This blond boy has my secrets in his mouth."

~

"I want to study the secrets tucked between his elbows and the whispers caught behind his knees. I want to follow the lines of his silhouette with my eyes and the tips of my fingers. I want to trace rivers and valleys along the curved muscles of his body. My thoughts shock me."

How, HOW, does Tahereh manage to write single kisses and the briefest moments that leave you feeling sated and like you're burning up at the same time. HOW. Because they are the moments when I unequivocally love her writing most. You fall headfirst into these scenes and feel like you're living them yourself. Some people loved Chapter 62 while others hated it at least partly for the male half of its equation; to be honest, I was so caught up in the actions and felt like I was living the scene myself that I forgot about the Warner ~problem as those pages flew by.

Jenn and I had a very heated discussion following my reading of Chapter 62. She is staunchly Team Adam and could not get into the action because of it. But the way I explained my complicated feels to her was this: while Warner is obviously an attractive guy, I don't necessarily think lust is the driving factor in what happens between him and Juliette. She's in an (even more so than usual) heightened emotional state, having just thought she hurt one of her truest friends, potentially in a fatal manner. She then discovers that her power, which harms the man she loves the most (as my friend Lindsey said, HE NEEDS TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET HIS BELLA WALL UP. Come on, Adam, WORK WITH US. askdfjlajsdlfark I died.), has the opposite effect on Warner. It invigorates and strengthens him (I'm curious to see how this weakens/strengthens angle ties in with the familial aspect revealed in UM); Juliette makes him feel GOOD, which is not something she can bring to other people. It's validating and reassuring, even if in a fucked up way. 

The scene that spoke volumes to me was actually the one in the hallway preceding the hotness that was the sixty-second chapter: when Warner holds her, I found it more revealing than anything else. She needs reassurance and love and comfort, and in that precarious moment, Warner is able to offer at least some form of these things to her.

"He's breathing like he's lost his mind and he's looking at me like something has broken inside of him, like he's woken up to find that his nightmares were just that, that they never existed, that it was all just a bad dream that felt far too real but now he's awake and he's safe and everything is going to be okay and I'm falling. I'm falling apart and into his heart and I'm a disaster."

Mumford is everything.

"'You say you love me,' he says. 'And I know I love you.' He looks up, meets my eyes. 'So why the hell can't we be together?'"

When Juliette is with Adam, she's doing the one thing that (she sees as) separating her from Warner; she wants to be good, and I believe she inherently is. But as she sees how her trait elicits destruction in and of her other half, she begins to believe that if she gives in to her deepest desires - like Warner so often does - she won't be any better than him. It becomes a constant battle of want vs. need and right vs. wrong.

"We're in love. We just want to be together. What's wrong with that?"
If you haven't yet, go watch Moonrise Kingdom IMMEDIATELY.

Adam has known her for ten years and has always believed the best in her. He refuses to walk away from that. Determination is a quality that he and Warner share, but I feel that it comes from different places within each of them. It's also what makes this triangle interesting: both pairings seem plausible at different times and for unique reasons.

"'You,' and he whispers it, letter by letter he presses the word into my skin before he hesitates. Then. Softer. His chest, heaving harder this time. 'You destroy me.' I am falling to pieces in his arms."

I see the above moment as the key to, and fundamental problem with, Juliette and Warner's relationship. For someone who is always in control, Warner is able to lose himself with her fully. They find a sense of escapism in each other and how their powers fit together. But how far will this destructive path lead? When will he be destroyed in the way that he desires - and will Juliette break first? I think that Warner brings out the worst in her, and acts to change the innate goodness at her core. Jenn brought up another valid and interesting point of discussion post-Unravel Me: while Warner seems to change for and/or because of Juliette, he is fundamentally the same person, seemingly not wanting to alter who he is for the rest of the world. While the notion of one person being one's entire world is romantic and intense, it's not feasible on a larger scale, especially in a world like this one. How he behaves in the story's conclusion, with Juliette and beyond, will ultimately shape the ending his character has.

"The message from the sky is clear: we are pissed...How could you do this to me? it whispers in the wind. I gave you everything, it says to us. Nothing will ever be the same again."

This book was heavy on the angst, intense on the (almost) sexytimes and, unfortunately, light on the substance, story wise. I love love stories, and I appreciate the triangle that Tahereh has crafted, which is surprising, since usually they frustrate me to no end. But like I talked about in my Shatter Me post, the characters are what make this series for me rather than the story. To a point I'm okay with that, and there are definitely messages conveyed through the people, but when we're two novels and a novella in, I wish I could see a greater message from the plot side of things. Especially when the setting is a traumatised version of our world which could very well one day come to be, I think so much more could be happening story wise. I'm excited to see how she wraps things up in Book 3, and hopefully now that the characters have moved on to the battlefield, the plot will go to the places I'm hoping it will. No matter what, though, I'll be reading the final book for some more time with Warner and to know once and for all who her heart truly belongs to (the answer is Adam, duh).

I hate waiting for final installments - 2014 is too far away!

Thanks for talking the Shatter Me series with me! I know my emotions were all over the map with this one, so if you made it through my rambling, I really appreciate it. I also love that opinions and thoughts on this series are so divided; it makes reading and discussing them interesting. Speaking of other points of view, one of my bests, Crystal, has her own fabulous blog (not primarily about books, although she does post about some of her favourites!), on which she shared her Unravel Me thoughts - you can read about them HERE. Please take a look and leave her some love!

To conclude with a bit more self-contradiction - I'd give UM three stars, but I went out and
bought the paperback for myself. I know I'll want to go over certain parts again. :)

I'm cutting it close, but tomorrow I'm posting a MARCH BOOK THEMED PHOTO-A-DAY! So if you have Instagram or Twitter and would like to participate/find out more about that, stop by and join in. Until then, happy reading! <3


A/N: Most of the pics that I used are from Tahereh's Unravel Me Pinterest board and if you like what you see there, she also has one for the as-of-now untitled third book, which is MAKING ME FEEL ANXIOUS: GO HERE AND DIE A LITTLE WITH ME. Rae and Jenn exchanged a million audio notes with me after I finished this book and I love them forever because of it, among other things. And most importantly to Angie, because she read and flailed with me, pre-read this, and is always honest and perfect and way too good to me. I love you, ma belle xx

destroy me

DESTROY ME by TAHEREH MAFI

"...I've known nothing like this terrible, horrible, paralyzing feeling. I feel crippled. Desperate and out of control. And it keeps getting worse. Every day I feel sick. Empty and somehow aching.

Love is a heartless bastard."

Hey, hi, hello! Before we delve into Warner's mind, I wanted to say thanks so much for all of your thoughts and comments re: Shatter Me!!! It's often most satisfying when there's an eclectic mix of viewpoints, and you guys delivered just that. I can't wait to hear you elaborate on what you think of this novella and the sequel.

Destroy Me is a novella-length glimpse into Warner's head, spanning from the end of Shatter Me to partway through Unravel Me. As he heads back to base to recoup after being injured (perhaps beyond just physically), we see his feelings for Juliette solidify and strengthen as threats materialise in the form of his father, The Supreme Commander of the Reestablishment.

My friend L commented on my last post saying that her version of a bad boy is not the more stereotypical “druggie, tattooed, bike riding or goth guy,” but rather one who leans towards psychopathic tendencies. This aligns with how I feel about Warner and is one of the reasons I loved Destroy Me so much. The majority of the (non-dystopian) YA stuff I’ve read lately has been rife with recycled storylines of seemingly bad boys saving girls, and while they’re enjoyable, I flail when I find something new and fresh. Even within the dystopian genre, Warner is unlike the other leading guys I love. For example, he's basically the polar opposite of my literary boyfriend, Four (okay, I had to bring up something Divergent related super quickly, because OCTOBER 22ND RELEASE DATE FOR THE THIRD BOOK OH MY GOD I CAN'T EVEN HANDLE MY FEELS TELL ME HOW TO COPE). Ahem. Because of this distinction, he keeps my mind working and interested in his character; I'm not busy comparing and having him fall short of the standards my other favourites have set.

It's just SO TRUE. Rae gets me.

Like I touched on last time, the fact that both the protagonist and antagonist boys have different, complex and valid relationships with Juliette is what captured and held my attention as the story progressed.

"Torture is not torture when there's any hope of relief."

We learn more about Warner's history and motivation when his father enters the picture. Warner's ruthlessness, cunning and cruelty are nothing compared to his dad's. If I read the above quote with only Shatter Me for context, I would automatically assume it was Warner thinking on his actions towards his soldiers and prisoners. Rather it is pulled from a scene where Warner is the one being tortured, by his own father, no less. He is abused physically, mentally and emotionally, and to cope organises his emotions carefully, choosing to "...lock away the things that do not serve me."

He's categorical and careful in his actions; when Adam and Kenji escape with Juliette, not only has he lost a prized possession (or person? If and how he distinguishes this is something I feel to be paramount), but the rigid control he held has slipped through his fingers, and it begins to unravel him. His self-hate is often palpable, and just as Juliette did in Shatter Me, I felt sorry for him. I feel that the most revealing moment in Destroy Me was when Warner faced his simulation; what he struggles with most of all is beyond troubling and yet makes perfect sense, given his story.

After finishing this novella, a quote from another book, Stolen, came to the forefront of my mind: "And it's hard to hate someone once you understand them."

"There's something so personal about this journal; it looks as if it's been bound together by the loneliest feelings, the most vulnerable moments of one person's life."

While I can sympathise with Warner’s desire to read Juliette’s notebook, for me this is where their connection takes on a darker and more twisted edge; the development of their relationship is based on a breach of trust. He is memorising her story religiously and in it he sees parts of himself reflected. His relationship with Juliette is the much more unconventional one, but I personally love the mutual discovery she and Adam experience more than Warner's emotional hoarding, which influences the proceedings of Unravel Me.

"'I came all the way here.' She's still smiling at me. It's a rare smile, the kind she's never honored me with. But somehow, right now, she's mine. She's mine and she's perfect and she wants me, and I'm not going to fight it. I don't want to."

Juliette is the one person who truly means something to him - and he recognises this about himself: “And I felt it then: this strange, inexplicable sense that she might be the only person in the world I could really care about.” She makes him vulnerable in a way that others do not. As the sole stimulus to evoke these emotions, she becomes the person he is most possessive of and obsessive over. But what makes his psychopathic tendencies apparent is that he does not regret the pain he has inflicted upon the girl he loves, and he has a continued desire to test her limits and use them for greater goals. "And now she's out there, somewhere, unleashed on society. What a beautiful disaster," he reflects at one point.

Warner's dreams involving Juliette set the stage for certain scenes to come in the sequel. Although illusions, I think they help reveal what some of his deepest desires are; there's more to it than just lust and yearning for physical contact. For example, he craves "the honour of her smile." He's looking to her for so many things he desperately wants (and for that matter, needs): love, friendship, power, etc. To me it's too much to expect from one person, especially one who was initially forcefully acquired.

It's this vein of humanity in him that her existence seems to stimulate which makes my heart hurt. But the question then is, does it hurt for him? Or because that piece of goodness in him, linked to her, might not be enough in the end? I still don't know my answer to that, but we'll talk about it more when we get to Unravel Me on Friday! What I do know for sure is that after finishing Destroy Me, I feel like I'm invested in a more complex character than I was before.

"I want nothing between us. I want her clothes off and the lights on and I want to study her. I want to unzip her out of this dress and take my time with every inch of her. I can't help my need to just stare; to know her and her features: the slope of her nose, the curve of her lips, the line of her jaw. I want to run my fingertips across the soft skin of her neck and trace it all the way down. I want to feel the weight of her pressed against me, wrapped around me."

Recently I've seen a lot of people discussing the mechanism used to deliver Warner's story; some people love novellas, while others dislike them. I've seen more than a few commenting on the fact that it's unfair to require a reader to cover extra material that's not necessarily part of the main storyline in order to appreciate what happens in successive installments. I absolutely agree that reading Destroy Me first will influence your mindset as you enter the world of Unravel Me, and probably shape how you feel about Warner; specifically, I believe it has the power to alter how you view him as a love interest for our leading lady.

That being said, I love that Tahereh provided this medium. Given the opportunity, I will always say YESYESYES to more words, as long as they add to the universe in a productive way. Destroy Me isn't simply filler, and that's what matters most to me. Plus, I love reading stories from guys' points of view (remember Free Four?). It's nice to experience a different voice and feel refreshed when reunited with the main narrator.  However, I don't think it's fair that Warner now has the upper hand, in a sense (remember how I contradicted myself in the last post? that's a running theme). What would even the playing field and make me happier is if the second novella, coming out in December, was from Adam's POV. It probably won't play out that way, but especially with how Unravel Me finished, a girl can dream (and simultaneously bottle up all the anxious feelings)!

LITERALLY WHAT I SAID WHEN I FINISHED READING.

A/N: I wasn't rushing to read Unravel Me when it first came out, as was probably reflected in my Shatter Me post. But I decided to go through Destroy Me since it was a shorter option that I thought might be interesting; in the end, it had me flailing because I wasn't expecting to feel so wound up and inspired to dive into the sequel!!! Rae listened as I rambled on forever, and I love her and our Warner discussions. Until we meet again to Unravel Me it up on Friday, have a great day! <3

shatter me

SHATTER ME by TAHEREH MAFI

“I have a curse.  I have a gift.  I'm a monster.  I'm more than human.  My touch is lethal.  My touch is power.  I am their weapon.  I will fight back.”

**There are a few spoilers in this post**

Okay, so, I feel like I should be unflinchingly honest upfront and say that a) I did not love this book (and in fact often wanted to throw it across the room) and b) this post will be full of contradictory comments, because while overall I was unimpressed, I did love what the bare bones of the story and writing were if you stripped it down to them. Is that clear as mud? Excellent, let's dive right in!

 

Shatter Me is the story of a girl named Juliette who has not touched another human being in almost a year. She is in solitary confinement, until one day, another prisoner joins her in her cell. She's connected to this boy, Adam, in more ways than one, and things are never as simple as they seem. Joining their stories together, inside the prison and out, is Warner. He is a sort of ruler of a section of the devastated place the world has become, and it soon becomes clear that he is more than just a token bad guy.

I read the first half of Shatter Me when there was a promo day on Facebook about a year and a half ago. After devouring those chapters, I anxiously awaited its November release date so I could race through the second half of the story. However, when I finally had the book in my hands, I found that it wasn't quite as wonderful as I had initially thought. I decided to re-read after I got through Destroy Me and Unravel Me (we'll be talking about them later this week!) so that I had the story fresh in my mind and I could adequately discuss it here now.

“I spent my life folded between the pages of books. In the absence of human relationships, I formed bonds with paper characters. I lived love and loss through stories threaded in history...My world is one interwoven web of words, stringing limb to limb, bone to sinew, thoughts and images all together. I am a being comprised of letters, a character created by sentences, a figment of imagination formed through fiction. They want to delete every point of punctuation in my life from this earth and I don't think I can let that happen.”

This paragraph is what pulled me in to the story of Shatter Me. Juliette is in many ways withdrawn, but has this fire inside of her that keeps you waiting for her next act of strength. Having been so cut off from an already crumbling civilisation, it would be so easy to lose one's humanity, but she clings to the concept of right vs. wrong; she devours words and also produces them, scribbling them in her notebook that in a way is her anchor to some semblance of sanity.

I think we all feel connections with different characters for varying reasons, but Juliette's love of words is what tied me to her.

ME (and Juliette and a lot of you, too).

 “He's a hot bath, a short breath, five days of summer pressed into five fingers writing stories on my body.”

Enter all five feet, eleven inches of  Adam, a boy who has watched Juliette from afar since childhood, and is now thrust closer to her (literally and figuratively) than anybody else in her life. He's protecting Juliette before she even understands the extent of his feelings for her, and the want that she feels is reciprocated and then some. The scene where she discovers that Adam is immune to her touch includes this thought: "...he's holding me the way no one has ever held me before. Like he wants me." So much of this story revolves around "want" in my mind. As human beings we're wired to be wanted; we crave attention and feelings that bring us a sense of validity. Juliette has been missing this for so long, so when Adam re-enters her world, it bowls her over. Also, can we talk about how airugfaqwersdarjk the shower scenes were?! The quote I used above is hands down one of my favourites of Tahereh's specifically and also a top one overall.

I guess in the most straightforward sense, I'm "Team Adam." I think their history links them in a deep way whose meaning we don't fully understand yet (I NEED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THIS BIRD IN HER DREAMS AND ON HIS CHEST THAT LINKS THEM LIKE I NEED AIR), and his love for her is unmarred in a way that Warner's is. Adam sees Juliette as "the only good thing left in this world," whereas Warner views her as a tool that he can use to his own advantage. But, that being said, if my thoughts on Warner were to have a status, it would be: IT'S COMPLICATED.

“'We will always be enemies.' My voice is cracked into chips of ice. The words melt on my tongue. 'I will never be what you want me to be.' Warner sighs...'I really think you'll change your mind.'...'You and I, Juliette - together? We could be unstoppable.'"

Warner is, for all intents and purposes, the evil guy. Having just read the first book, I couldn't see how people could plausibly be "Team Warner." He is depicted as being so inherently BAD that there don't seem to be any redeeming qualities. My feelings about him changed quite a bit after reading Destroy Me and Unravel Me (but not because of Chapter 62 o); we'll talk about those developments later this week!

What makes Warner fascinating, to me, is that he truly believes he's doing the right thing. Rather than blindly following his father's orders, he thinks the cause he's supporting is accomplishing something that will make the destroyed earth a better place. And while Juliette is on one hand a pawn in the greater game he is playing, he feels a connection to her that makes their relationship far from straightforward. Even Juliette comprehends where he's coming from from time to time, but what continues to separate her from him is her desire to be better. As Juliette spends time with Warner, her emotions move from hate to a much more muddled state: feeling sorry for him. He's possessive, but is also looking for acceptance, recognition and love, just like she is. I think when she realises this, it forms a bond that is not initially expected, and one that carries on into Unravel Me.

“Someone picked up the sun and pinned it to the sky again, but every day it hangs a little lower than the day before. It's like a negligent parent who only knows one half of who you are. It never sees how its absence changes people. How different we are in the dark.” 

I like how Tahereh develops characters who, just like people, are multifaceted, showing that it's not always as simple as being good or bad. I think she's done something unique in making both the protagonist and antagonist desirable (again, for me this happened more after reading beyond the first novel). We don't really know who to root for all the time; I've never been more unsure of where a story will take me in its concluding installment, and that's an intriguing thing to experience.

Outside of the characters' relationships, I'm kind of lukewarm when it comes to the plot in this first novel. I love the various people's interactions, but this dystopian storyline didn't blow me out of the water. Particularly when I got to the end and I kind of felt like I'd stepped into X-Men: First Class. But if you aren't a fan of X-Men, this probably isn't a problem! If you are a fan, it helps that it's not an exact replica of that world, and no story is going to be 100% original. To me, it's a balance: if a story falls short in one way for you, sometimes you're lucky enough to have another part make up for it.

I love me some James McAvoy. Speaking of, Atonement?! We'll have to talk about that book and movie sometime.

“I'm oxygen and he's dying to breathe.”

Earlier in this post I spoke of Juliette's love of words. Understandably, Tahereh Mafi shares this love, as is evident by the writing she introduced us to in her first novel. Metaphors and similes pour from her fingertips and they help to create a rich and sensational world...until it starts to be a bit too much. There are only so many times there can be a million breaths in a moment and the need to swallow down the butterflies threatening to burst out of you, y'know?

She also purposefully shies away from grammar, which in certain scenes can be effective, as you feel swept up in Juliette's emotions and the passion or turmoil she's experiencing. But to me, after awhile it became more distracting than moving. The strikethroughs were also a new literary tool; they often helped reveal Juliette's true thoughts and fears. I feel similarly about them as I do the grammar and metaphors; to a point, they're different and interesting. Then they started to make the story feel weaker, because it was an easy (bordering on lazy, sometimes?) tool to spell out everything to the reader. I personally feel that if Tahereh had used these mechanisms a little more sparsely, the story would have been even more powerful and engaging.

Having re-read Shatter Me after devouring the novella and sequel made me like the story more, I think. But my feelings on the writing didn't change, and perhaps even grew a little stronger. I think that Tahereh is already better at balancing some of the things I found frustrating, so I'm excited to see where she goes from here. She also has one of the most fan-friendly and funny TWITTER accounts ever, and runs a wonderful BLOG which you all should read! It hasn't been updated in awhile, but I've read almost all of her posts and there are some golden ones, so I'd suggest exploring it a bit.

This is so fucking cool. THANK YOU, JENN, ILY!!!

Now that I've gone all over the map with THAT, I'll wrap it up for today. Tomorrow or Wednesday we'll talk Destroy Me and then we'll end the week with Unravel Me. I know I'm probably in the minority with my Shatter Me feels, so I'd love to hear yours! If you've read the sequel already, did it make you feel differently about this story? Tell me everything, bibliophiles, and have a wonderful rest of your Monday! <3  

A/N: FLOOZ and Angie are my literary soulmates and they understand my fictional obsessions (and possessive tendencies) like no other. They also encourage me to post constantly, and I need to get better at listening to them. Vanessa has been waiting for my SM thoughts for a ridiculously long time now, and I just love her a lot. <3